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... Things to say
This is a pretty sweet life. Just relaxing, letting it all come loose. Mind unwinds, words unfold, and feelings spill. It’s rather refreshing. Every word comes with a smile. All my music sounds good. Everything around me appears beautiful, but thoughts of you prevail. This blog becomes a reflection of myself now, that line was crap, but I’ll edit it later. I can let it chill for now, things are good, and I won’t worry about it. I wonder if I’ll even post this, or keep this part about not posting it in the post if I do… Maybe I should stop; this is getting a little too long rambling on about nothing… Just chillin. Everything flows well; everything just flows, out and in, ideas before imponderable now simple. It seems there’s a lot of power in being able to relax. Let your mind take the day off, let your subconscious drive you, don’t worry about those spelling mistakes. Let this flow, let it roll off of your fingers onto the keyboard; that is when you can truly right a blog. That is where a masterpiece comes from, don’t rush it; the only thing generated from haste is waste. Don’t worry about the conversation; just say what’s on your mind. That is when you can truly express yourself. Let it sink in, these moments are few and far between. Don’t worry about form, it’ll work itself out. If only this chair reclined…
It's these moments that make me glad to be here. It's these moments that make me smile, time and time again. It's these moments I remember when I'm feeling down and out. Or even when I'm just down. This thought, these words, these feelings. They make it all. They make it all worth it, because at the end of the day, this is what I’ve been looking forward to.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t know what happened when someone fell in love? When someone felt rage, felt like they needed to fight. Wouldn’t it be nice to simply fight without any forethought? Wouldn’t it be nice if things just worked, everything was simple, love was love, and hate was hate? I think this world could benefit from a bit more divinity. More wonder would be nice, I’d like to be able to stare up into the sky and have my mind fill with questions, not answers; it feels like my imagination’s being taken away. I’d like a bit more wonder, a bit more space for my mind to roam, even if it’s going in the wrong direction. I’d like a bit more room to think, without being squashed by simple logic. I’d like to be able to dream of flying, without knowing for sure that it can’t be done. I’d like to be able to think of machines that could take me anywhere, without knowing that they can’t be made. I’d like to dream in a place where world peace isn’t just a dream, even though I know there will always be violence. I, would like to dream of days where I won’t ever have to leave this place. This is a good place.
Looking back, and looking forward, re-reading these thoughts, feelings. One thing remains. It has all been beautiful. The hard times made me harder. The soft days showed me how to open up. The good times, were simply grand. I’d like to thank you for that. I’d like to thank you for just being you, no matter what you were, or are to me. You, made these pages beam with beauty, made these pages come to life, you made them flourish. So I’d like to thank you for making this story, what it is. Beautiful. I’d like to thank you for making this life story happy. For giving this life story the romantic side. For letting the author doze off every night, knowing he has something to look forward to. So now I’ll fall asleep… thinking of you, thinking of this… thinking of bliss.
And then, it was all a blur. Too much at once, this was hard to take in. All of a sudden feelings weren’t as simply figured out as before. Things would be different from this day on. I knew now, if only the word “secret” had just a bit of validity. If only you didn’t tell me this, for you just made me re-think it all. If only… Maybe one day you’ll figure out that I am no coward. I lay myself out, and you call me a coward. You should know being open is the hardest part. You should know being open is the ultimate fear, for in being open, you are also open to attack.
It seems the days from now on are going to be different. There will always be that one little thing. There will always be plural emotion(s). There will always be that other dimension. It appears things aren’t as simple as they were anymore. There will always be multiple border(s) to defend. There will always be someone who wants me on the ground. Be it my own conscious or someone else’s will. There will always be multiple day(s) to think this over, at least we have time. Either that or we will have second(s) to make this moment real. But, it’s all for the better. The ground gives power to get up. The attacks give powers to defend. And so on. So let you’re complicated lives lead you into complicated decisions. Let those decisions lead to complex choices. Let nothing go unanswered. It’d be a shame to miss something in the midst of it all. Let nothing be unsaid, because you never know, you could miss a chance to say it. Let it all sink in, because then you don’t have to push it down later. Let those emotions take control; they just might take you somewhere.
19 February, 2006 11:23
Turns out that sacrifice blog was true. There will always be something give up, when something is taken. Anyway, on with the point, oh and by the way, this is no shield, this is no move, this is only a release. This is a release of all the times you thought you were better. A release of all the good times, all the bad times. A release of all the times I thought this was no wrongdoing, turns out you thought differently. You lied, it’s simple, but people lie. It’s only human nature. It’s only human nature to cover up, and it is only in letting go and showing off when we find we were wrong all along. For sometimes we’re only kidding ourselves. Sometimes it’s time to take a step back and watch what you say. Watch what they say. React well; you’ve only got one shot at this. So here is my message to you. A threat will do nothing, for actions will speak louder than text. Spread those rumors like disease. Eventually you will be infected. This is no shield. This is only a release. This is no question. It is the answer, for this is beyond words. But it’s worth it; don’t think you caused any regret. I know who I am.
18 February, 2006 11:23
Typing so fast every other word is autocorrected, emotions spill onto a page. Feelings swirl around and land on the keyboard. If only you knew how this truly made me feel. If only I could truly tell you how I feel. This helps, but doesn’t come close. At least to me it can become some kind of release. At least to me these emotions are behind me now, unless I decide that they’re too good to let go of. Too good to say goodbye to. So I hold on, I don’t let go, and I don’t get caught up. There’s much more to be thinking of now. And so I write. As these thoughts place themselves in this paragraph they find a way out. Hopefully they find a way into you, and maybe you’ll be able to see a little bit of me. I’m sharing here, pay attention. I just hope you can tell from the little sub-notes that this is true. This is genuine, no mixed realities here. Only me. If only you could really see what I’m trying to show you.
17 February, 2006 11:21
Being able to let go is a grand ability. But never loose the memories. Good or bad, they either make you laugh or make you think. They could make you cry, and they could teach you a thing or two. Memories are a powerful thing, and they are never to be lost. They are to be taken in, and stored, but they are not to be held on too. They are something to look back on to know that that was then. This is now, this is different. But that did happen, it was great. That is over now, which is too bad, but there are always new things. There is always tomorrow. There is always somewhere new to go. Maybe not somewhere where the rain dares come, but you can always look back on the days under a secure roof; those days when things were so simple. This was this and that was that. All well; that was then, this is now. With memories you will be able to re-visit the good old days, but never stay to long, they have a way of sucking you in. They also have a certain way of replenishing. They have a way of reminding you that there will always be what happened. There will never be a way to undo it. There will always be regrets, because nothing is, or was, perfect. So revisit, rejoice, relive, and revive.
16 February, 2006 11:20
There’s a thin line between real, true, and fake. Fake is just; untrue. Fake has trouble staying separated with true though, the two do mix. And to find the true truth is to see what’s real. Generally, the truth gets mumbled up with a number of white lies and such. It is only in being able to feel what happened, where you can truly know what occurred. To understand is to take into account all mixed emotions, all decisions, and all movements. It is to know, to truly know, that there was reason. Without reason is without logic, and that wouldn’t make any sense. To understand is to truly comprehend what went on. Not to know what happened. Not to have heard the word on the street. The word lies. The emotion doesn’t. So it is in understanding feelings where we can truly understand, truly comprehend what went on, what occurred happened for a reason. That reason almost always has something to do with feelings, unless you’re talking in binary. It is love and hate; it is disappointment and excitement, which is at the base of every decision. Because nobody talks in binary.
15 February, 2006 12:35
So there I was, and all of a sudden, it clicked. It all came together, and at that exact moment it all fell down. The sky was falling. Emotions swirling from all directions. And so, in contradicting myself I decided I was confused. Which I was. After figuring it all out, after things had been so good, I could see what was there all along. Not knowing it had existed I had continued on. All I knew then was that all of a sudden I was the bad guy; I was the one committing the felony. At least in my actions, in my mind, I was. The tricky part became this; it was in this beautiful betrayal that I had finally found what I was looking for. It was because of this violation that I could finally look in the mirror and say “this is wonderland”. It was in this wonderland where I had finally found home. It was in this wonderland, where things came together, and things fell apart. It was here where I figured it out; I knew what I had done. It was in this knowing that I found a way to let go. This was how it was, and sometimes life deals cards so bad, you just have to cheat.
I had found a new side of me, one I didn’t know before. I found the me that weaved a little. I had always thought of myself to be a person of pure trust, of pure loyalty. But now I knew that I was someone who can put himself first every once in a while.
So as the words battled out in my head I came to a conclusion, this is a new day. A new time where things change, as always, but only now it’s happening faster. I have to look out now, predict a little, because just as you figure it out, it becomes something else, so be on your feet, ready for change, and don’t try to delay it, because then it will only happen faster, push harder. Take change in grace, take it with pleasure, and maybe you can even have some fun in this whirlpool of difference and indifference.
14 February, 2006 12:33
There will always be things that we can’t control. There will always be a solid other who decides that they are against you. These are what I’ll call the untouchables. And then there are the choices that you make. There are the times where you decide where to go next; what to do to the one who betrayed you. These are your choices. This is what you control, and if you look at the circumstances, you might find you have a lot of these. So control well, as all decisions come with a price, all choices have their affects.
When faced with a situation where you have to, let’s say, choose a path; you can choose that path, but you cannot choose where it will lead you, that is, unless you decide to make your own trail. You’d have to know the way pretty well to do that though. So, when found in a situation where you seem to have no control, try a little harder, because there will always be something to do. There will always be a place to put energy. There will always be some form of control.
As you find your way down this path, it’s your choice in which to perceive what you see. It’s your choice for what to make of it all, you could say that cup is half full, or you could choose to call it half empty. It’s your choice. Any situation can be seen as an omen, because we all have our good sides. There is a silver lining to each cloud, I’ve seen them all. It may seem the untouchables are in control, that they’re out there to make you fall. But that isn’t the case; it’s only your choice to see them trying to get you down, not trying to toughen you up. Because really, everything can be seen through pink-tinted lenses, all you need to do is put the glasses on.
13 February, 2006 19:03
I’d like to wish you all a happy valentines day. And I’d like for no one to end up sad. Today isn’t the day for that. I’d like for everyone to savor it all. Take it all in, this is our last year here, so don’t waste any time. Focus on the good, because it’s the good that gets you farther. Never miss a moment in your own thoughts, today is time to smile, today is a good day. Today we celebrate the epitome of happiness. Love is a grand thing, so never waste that either. It is to be cherished, never is it to be abused. It will bite back. Love is a great thing, and mine is for you. So maybe now you can think of the times we’ll never forget. Think of the people who will always be there, no matter what school. Think of the times that changed you forever, good or bad. Think of the people who taught you a lesson, teachers or not. Think of the times you laughed so hard milk came out of your nose. Those are the times that you’ll remember. Those are the times never to miss. Those are the times to watch out for. Times to seize, times to hold, to remember. Times to live for.
13 February, 2006 12:42
Everyone reading this blog right now is chasing a little white rabbit. It is a never-ending quest. Even after chasing down that rabbit, there is a better one, faster. But you know now, you caught its brother; this one can’t be much different. Can it? There will always be a new route, for the old ways came from the time when you didn’t know any better. That rabbit becomes your only objective, and chasing two will get you none, so focus. This is your destiny; it is why you’re here in the first place; to chase. For it is the journey, the chase, not the destination. The journey is what takes you there, it will never end, until, well, you do. It is the ultimate fate of the human race, to forever want more, to forever be chasing that white rabbit. Don’t be sad that things will never be perfect and tranquil, because nobody smiles at a stop light. So chase that rabbit; it might just take you into wonderland.
12 February, 2006 20:55
In a minute, the world can pass by, but only if you’re going very, very fast. In a minute, a life can end, and at the same moment, a life can be brought into this world; but only after 9 months of waiting. In a minute, an era ends, and a new one begins. In a second, thoughts swirl through your head… What was that? You’ll know in a minute. In an hour, what feels like days can pass, and you may never be the same. This may never be the same. But the world isn’t ending, there’s no need to worry, for the moment.
In a second, you may be lost. Words travel quickly, and they’re very hard to follow. But thoughts go even faster, rushing to the next conclusion. Still, feelings travel at even higher speeds. They are the ultimate mode of communication; because we all smile in the same language. And in all of this, that true moment of judgment may only last a few seconds, so be ready. It is that day. It is that hour, it is that second. Tick tock. Tick tock.
09 February, 2006 19:37
Cheat a bit. Bend the rules that were meant to be broken. Not too much, because when destroyed, they can’t be manipulated. Take to the skies, play in the winds and fly with the flock, even though we can’t. Fly away to a place where reality meets fantasy and your wildest dreams come true. A place where worries wash away; and you can cheat a little bit. Murphy’s laws can stay at home for a little while. Maybe it’s time to take a break from all these restrictions and limits.
08 February, 2006 19:36
When you scrape away the religion, the race, the beliefs of a person, you get a human being, no exceptions. Because of this we are able to find friends among enemies. Because people don’t make friends judging on what someone looks like, it is on how they act which the judgment is made. If only we could all talk without twisted tongues. If the hate left, for maybe a few minutes, we might just discover the happiness that can be found in friendship. Maybe we can find the camaraderie that connects us all. If we can just take a moment and leave the judgments behind, we could find something grand. Maybe even, for a few moments, we could learn that we are equal; not in skill, but in value. In valuing each other we can find bonds that will last a lifetime. Respect, is the base of happiness. If we can learn equality, maybe we can learn to be a bit happier. Maybe these days will pass by more easily for everyone, because I simple hello can make a world of difference. Respect one another, and we might not have to be enemies anymore.
07 February, 2006 09:58
It took my mind a while to take in and realize what actually happened. In that moment I was lost in a whirlwind of new things, and beauty. Nothing else compares, nothing else matters. It seems it’s all taken a turn for the best, so I’ll live it up. This is like my every dream, but better, and this time it’s real. This is like; winning a million dollars without buying a lotto ticket, and living in a world where worries wash away like the tide.
That moment, everything else melted away. Nothing else even… existed. So I savored it, I took it in, because that’s what moments are meant for.
It seems I’ve been deprived of good things, but it only seems that way, because nothing compares to how you make me feel. Nothing looks good anymore, because nothing measures up to your beauty… If only this moment could last forever.
06 February, 2006 09:52
The quest for world peace has become a very big dream. One that most believe in; I don’t think anyone in here really enjoys killing. But it’s an impossible dream, not to be pessimistic, but there will always be violence. The route cause of killing and violence is always anger. Anger, the human emotion; if we ever want world peace, we’re going to have to wipe anger out of our lives. This would cause more chaos than you might think. An end to anger would be an end to rebellion. There would be no more standing up for yourself, for there would be no feeling to drive hold you upright. And as many of us wrote about last term, rebellion is a hard thing to live without. It’s a hard thing to survive without, it drives us.
Violence is in our past, it is in everything’s past. It is how things stayed alive. When there was no diplomacy, violence was the only answer to dispute. And dispute there was, every day, we fought to stay alive, we fought for our right to live. It is in this way violence entered our past; and our instincts at the same time. It was then that we forever became ravaged. Humans, as any other species, will forever be violent, it is in our blood. But only when we are triggered do we enter this state of rage, only then do we loose all control and become wild. It may forever condemn our society to have a violent side, as it will condemn us all to have a darker side. It is in that darker side that we can maybe find shelter, for in anger, in rage, there is a certain undoing. Everything is set free, nothing can be held back. It is that way were we can see the inside, get to know ourselves. So do not be afraid to set free, for in letting go we refresh, and we can maybe even learn a bit about ourselves. Embrace the rage, and let it out at the same time, because it is then, when you become fearless.
04 February, 2006 22:28
I’ve come to learn that there will always be a yearning for more. The average human isn’t ever satisfied with their current situation. It’s why we want to be better at the sports we’re the best at; it’s why billionaires don’t retire. It’s why we take two when one would do. It’s also why we’re so advanced. All of the other animals on earth are happy where they are. Humans, somewhere along the line, evolved the drive for more; we were the first ambitious animals. We, then, were the ones who always wanted to be warmer than we needed to be, we wanted to have more food than we needed. We developed the drive to have more, to live longer and to be better. It’s this very drive that powers our every decision, because we all have our reasons, we all have our ways as well. We might not get what we want, but we sure do want it. So always try, let that ambition take you somewhere, because in attempt, there is no defeat, only disappointment.
03 February, 2006 22:27
Reality is one thing, but fantasy is another. This being said, we do still get the two mixed up. It’s happened to everyone; we’ve all conjured up the thought of something that really isn’t, really is. We’ve all thrown ourselves into something without thinking of what’s really happening; and we’ve done so while living in an optimistic world, where everything goes as planned. Or maybe that was just me. The point is, we can get the two mixed up, and when that happens, you’re destined to end up in the real world, not the one you conjured up. That is, unless you get lucky. It’s when we mix the two up, when we really need to take a moment out of the mess, and observe. It is at those times when sense is of the essence; because it is at those times when you really learn to feel your way around, really learn to become, to act, to try harder.
Try harder even when your fantasy doesn’t involve work. Because in reality, there will always be work, nothing comes without sacrifice, without drive. Nothing comes without want. It is that want that drives you towards your fantasy, it is that want that becomes your fantasy and it is that fantasy, that becomes your reality, but only if you are driven. Only if you want, only if you have that fantasy in the first place, can it become real. So dream; and drive. Always.
02 February, 2006 22:23
There is, in a sense, a finish to everything, a parting of ways after every goodbye, a last sentence to this blog. You will stop reading it, and close this window. Maybe not right away, but sometime, because nothing lasts forever, even If it can. Everything has to cease at some point. No matter how dependable, that three year warranty only lasts for three years, and three years isn’t even close to forever. All plants wither away at some point in their lives. All stars get old and burst. But the thing is, with an ending, there will be a new beginning. That plant will decompose and offer rich soil for the new seed, all you have to do is plant it. The remains of that star will eventually be compressed into another brightly shining sun, for another planet, maybe one just like earth, maybe on that earth will be another race of humans, and maybe there will even be a new me, this blog could even repeat itself. But I’ll be long gone before that happens.
With destruction comes creation, when a forest fire knocks all the old trees down, the little saplings come back with the sun right over them, only to be burned down again. It’s a cycle. When you erase that mistake, you fill in the space that used to be occupied by those dead words. The Katrina Hurricane took away New Orleans, but made way for what the city is proposing as a totally new, New Orleans. A better one too, because we can learn from our mistakes. We can see what caused the demise of one thing, and make a better one. But then there will also be a better demise, because nothing lasts forever; even if it can. The end.
02 February, 2006 09:53
This is for you, to you. This is a letter of wish, hope. I wish I could help, and because I can’t, I hope. I hope you won’t have to bear all of this weight at once, I wish I could take some off of your shoulders. I hope you never think that you’re alone, so I wish for you to know we’ll always be here. I wish this could be simple, so I hope that maybe, fate will take over. I hope that one day; you’ll see a light at the end of this tunnel. But for now, I write. I write to you, for you. In hopes that maybe you can hear me.
29 January, 2006 12:19
It’s the little things that say a lot. The hellos and goodbyes, the words and the noises, and most of all, the smiles. It’s those things that can change it all. I guess what it all comes down to is just a bunch of little things. Just a pile of words make a speech, a bundle of noises makes a song. All those songs make entertainment; all those speeches make you inspired. All those smiles make a lot of happy people. All those happy people make it a happier place here on earth. So I’d just like to say thanks for smiling, you’d be amazed at what it can do.
28 January, 2006 10:00
And then comes moving on. Then comes something new, something, someplace, where you can truly fly, be you. This is when we take our experiences, and we build on them. There will be more to come, so make a good foundation. Tall things often topple. It’s at these times where speed is of the essence; they say slow and steady wins the race, but since when was that really true? Be warned though, it hurts more when you fall going fast, so pace yourself. Walk diligently through the minefield; you never know what’s underneath. You never know if it’s going to support you, or become your very demise. It is at those times when speed is of the essence, because it is at those times when you experience the most. It is then, when you’ll want to slow down and take it all in. Never miss a beat. Thump thump. Thump thump...
27 January, 2006 09:59
I’ve come to see that this life we live is all about what happened. It affects everything. It affects the way we act, the way we talk, and the way we take risks. It all comes from what happened; experience. I think it’s important for us all to be able to say we’ve been there, or done that, to a certain extent. But I also think it’s important for us all to be able to accept. Remorse will only be valid for a little while, until the time comes to face the brick wall set in front of you. It’s that time, at which you need to be able to center all of those fears, all of those empty desires, and get out of that place. Leave, go somewhere new. Only then will you be able to say that you have truly been there. It’s at that time where the rush of experience comes, and you’re able to say to yourself; wow, that was something. It is then where you realize what really happened. It is then where you are set free; because with acceptance, there is closure.
26 January, 2006 14:59
- “Most are deathly afraid of pain, of prolonged suffering, even more than they are scared of death”
- “When inside the tent, the dark’s like what a womb must feel like, the air close and hot and the universe feeling endless even when you stretch up your hand and touch the roof.”
- “We never talk of home. It is too far away.”
- “He cannot speak to me yet, and so I decide, here on the river, that I will speak to him. In this way maybe his tongue will loosen some. Maybe some of the poison that courses through him might be released in this way. Words are all I have left now. I’ve lived alone so long that I realize I’m starved to talk. And so, as I paddle gently with the river, I talk to him, tell him about my life.”
25 January, 2006 13:12
In today’s world, it’s hard to find something incurable by human medicine. Cancer can be cured; people who go blind will soon be able to have prosthetic retinas replacing their broken ones and feeding their brains a false sense of sight. It started me thinking, are we messing up the cycle of life? Where is evolution to go next? As soon as someone gets what would have been a fatal problem, they get a dose of pills, and don’t think anything more about it. With the latest advancements in medicine, we’ve managed to stop evolution in its tracks.
Think of it this way; evolution was a series of mistakes that made us better throughout the millions of years it took. When there was a bad mistake, or someone couldn’t fight a disease, they died, and didn’t end up reproducing kids who had the same problem. Thus, only the best would survive, and only the best would reproduce, so only the best would go on to become the next step in that species evolution. In our case, we’ve simply made more cures with our huge brains, and where do we get? Only more things to cure.
The people who have been able to get / pay for medical help are the ones who are able to survive. So, has it become; survival of the richest? Is that how we cheat Mother Nature? By buying our ways out of death? I’m not saying I want everyone with a fatal illness to just give up and keel over, I’m simply saying this. We have found a way to cheat the rules of Mother Nature. We are now able to say no, to death, we have found a way to play god, Isn’t that the greatest sin?
24 January, 2006 11:46
These are the times I look back and wonder what ever happened. What happened to that great friendship, all those good times? I’m listening to “Silver Bullet” by
23 January, 2006 14:50
I realized, the other day, that this is me. There is no more searching to be done, no more rocks to turn over, only to find a whole bunch of pebbles. I have become the person I have been looking for. This is me. This is not you; it is purely Jake (Read). I am one to stand for myself. I am what I stand for. I stand, for what is right. I will not fail, I will only try. I will not let down, for then I would be open to attack. Because to attack, is the best way to defend. I, will not let you tell me I am wrong, when I know I am right, because that, would be wrong. I seek, and sometimes find, other times, I discover. I watch, but do not look. I listen, I do not hear. I become, I don’t change. I can speak, but I have trouble whispering. For I am loud. I know how to handle this, because I’ve seen it all before. It has been done, you know. I am one more person representing planet earth, just in case we aren’t alone. I, Jake Read, am on top of the world. I am me, I am not you, because; If I were you, I wouldn’t be me, now, would I?
23 January, 2006 14:48
When a hero dies, and there’s nothing left to stand for, where do you stand? When a hero dies, and there’s nothing left to fight for, why do you attack? When a hero looses their way, who is left to lead? When a hero dies, and this all remains unsolved, who is there to carry out these beautiful dreams? What is there to do with the bad guy; now that our savior has left? When a hero dies, and there’s nothing more to unite, where do we flee; this change destroyed home. When a hero dies, what do you do? Avenge.
19 January, 2006 15:42
Here are some more quotes from Three Day Road.
- “Me, I think it was their idle complaints, their greedy talk as they chewed their hides and tea, that put a curse on us.
- “By the time she told these stories, though, Micah’s wife had become unreliable, had become something else. At that point she was only trying to save herself.
- “As dusk settled she made her promise, whispered just loud enough for the forest to hear.”
- “But that morning the sun did rise.”
- “Elijah is the first to put words to it. ‘The world is burning’”
- “Tomorrow I’ll go into a place from which there is no turning back”
- “My eyes open to sunlight cut by diamonds of shadow. For a moment I’m not sure where or who I am. I just am.
- “But especially I will tell the elders how after a shell attack life returns to normal so fast, how one’s mind does not allow him to dwell on the horror of violent death, for it will drive him mad if he lets it.
- “I keep my head attached to my body by doing simple things that it knows to do.
- “It is just like hunting, I think. It is hunting.”
19 January, 2006 15:41
I was watching "Alexander" the movie on Alexander the great a few nights ago, and I learned that all of the great Greek gods had been punished for taking glory without sacrifice. I realized, that my life has been all peaches for the last 13 years, so I wondered; am I about to get hit hard with a smack of reality? Am I about to realize that I don't know how to face anything at all? Just because I've never been through anything at all? And then I realized... I didn't know how to face anything at all. Sure there were those days every once in a while, but seeing all of my friends go through so much, and watching myself just sit there at idle, I wondered. There was so much I hadn't done, so many risks I wasn't willing to take. Maybe it was time to try more, stop avoiding and start facing my problems, the little of them I have. I decided, and vowed to myself, never to stand idly by again, never to set foot in a room and make myself unheard. I was going to do something with this spare time; I was going to write something inspirational.
18 January, 2006 21:53
To be honest, I think lies play an important role in todays society. Here's the blog that inspired this one.
Recent studies show that people lie on average 3 times per 5 minutes of talking. Not big lies, but you know. I think that lies have become a part of our society, it always has been, it always will be. When someone asks you if you're ok, you're probably not, and yet, the most common answer is; "yeah i'm fine". Truth is, that's a lie. Now, if that answer were "no i'm not, here's what's wrong" Everyone would know exactly how you felt. Everyone would know everything. Wouldn't that be a bit akward? If I came to school tomorrow, and told everyone what I thought about them, there would be alot of akwardness, and maybe even some hurt. If you told me how you honestly felt about me, I might not like it. It could help, as honesty does that sometimes. But here's the thing. We evolved with human nature, and human nature evolved with us. It's just like selfishness. The ones who stayed back with the wounded, would die with the wounded. It's a simple aspect of humanity. We lie, we don't want the other guy to win. And there lies my point. Without lies, we would live in a corruptplace without kindness. Because, to be honest, lies are at the foundation of a kind person. If I pointed out that mustard on those badly matching pants, you wouldn't think of me as a nice person. If I told you I loved the pants, you'd like me for saying it.
When you boil it all down, what you're left with is human nature. Not a complex person, a simple instinctive pattern mapped and changed by life experiences.
07 January, 2006 21:06
I've started reading the book "Three Day Road" By Joseph Boyden. It's a story of a native who comes back from world war two, without a leg, and addicted to morphine. He recalls his experiences while on a three day trip to his homeland by canoe with his aunt. In the first 25 pages I've already found a few good quotes.
- "I've always known men aren't meant to fly"
- "The campfire hisses. I should sit closer by it, but the light hurts my eyes."
- "As I march away with the others into the night I wonder what kind of a sign that the first time I am under fire it is from my own side."
- "The rain falls harder and soon I can't tell the guns from thunder."
- "'You are acting like rabbits' He says. 'It is time to act like wolves', and these are the perfect words. I can almost hear the backs of the men around me stiffen and the hairs on their necks bristle and it is exactly this, to be the hunter and not the hunted, that will keep me alive. This law is the same law as in the bush. Turn your fear and panic into the sharp blade of survival."
05 January, 2006 17:36
I've just finished reading "Skybreaker"; the sequel to "Airborn" By Kenneth Oppel. There were only a few quotes i felt worth mentioning, even though they aren't exacly grand quotes. I just thought my blog needed some action... It's been rather dead lately.
- "No sense in yearning for what we can't have."
" I think that's precisly the point of life", Kate insisted
- "My heart beat hard. I wished it could telegraph me what i was meant to do. I wished it could tell me what manner of person i was."
- "We had broken the sky."
P.S - There's a new song on the FH radio.
23 December, 2005 23:25
I was just in the car with my family, going to a family get together. Maybe it was my seat-heater... but all of a sudden, I felt a warm fuzzy feeling. One of those feelings you get when you realize just how well off you are. I realized how good my life was at that moment, recalling jokes and good times with good friends. I guess that all I really want to say is thanks, just for being to fun. Fun enough to miss after only two or three days... hahaha Kelly. See you guys soon!
23 December, 2005 09:25
Here is the final quote from angels and demons.
- "Science may have allevated the miseries of disease and drudgury and provided an array of gadgetry for out entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelegths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and it's inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accedent." He Paused "Even the technolodgy that promises to unite us, divided us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have in any point in human history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. IT shatters God's world into smaller and smaller peices in quest for meaning... and all it finds is more questions."
21 December, 2005 15:39
I was just thinking of how hard it is to prove anything these days. Pictures, video, or audio just won't cut it. It seems that there's no hard proof anymore. Programs like adobe photophop can munipulate simple photos into anything imaginable. A jury can dismiss any photo as fake. Most of those amazing pictures you find on the internet are fake, remember the picture with the shark jumping up at a helecopter rescue man? It looked so real, and yet, there are no sharks in the sanfransisco bay... It seems we're living in a fake world, where you really do have to see it to believe it. But even then your not convinced.
21 December, 2005 13:13
- "'We all benifiet from a sense contact with the divinity... Even if it's only imagined.'
- "Precision can be suffocating"
- "The message. This was the leap of faith
- "Leonardo de Vetra had looked up from his meditations with a patient smile. "My daughter the skeptic. So you don't believe God speaks to man? Let me put it in your language" He took a model of a human brain down from a shelf and set it infront of her. "As you probably know,
"So what?"
"Aha!" Vetra exclamed "And yet remarkable solutions to seemingly impossible problems often occur in these moments of clarity. It's what guru's call higher conciousness. Bioligists call it altered states. Psychologists call it super - sentience." He paused "Chistians call it answered prayer." Smiling broadly, he added, "Sometimes, divine revelation simply means adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knew."
- More qoutes to come.
17 December, 2005 12:56
Maybe you want to know what love is. Maybe, you already do... Or is that just another "-ilu"? Maybe it is, but maybe you mean it this time. Could it be real? Could you be coming face to face with love? Probably not, might I remind you, some people might think I still consider that girls have cooties.
It gets to me though, I think that that simple "ilu" has pressured so many into thinking that they need it. As if it's a shield from the constant pessure. It has molded the term "Love" into just another cliche, one that we're exposed to everyday now. We've managed to turn the apity of happieness into an abriviation.
I'm not asking anyone to try to change this. I guess there's really no way to say it otherwise. But I would just like to point out that the word "love" has become so common, it doesn't mean what it used to.
16 December, 2005 08:24
"Terrorism," the professor had lectured, "has a singular goal. What is it?"
"Killing innocent people?" a student ventured.
"Incorrect. Death is only a byproduct of terrorism."
"A show of strength?"
"No. A weaker persuasion does not exist."
"To cause terror?"
"Consisely put. quite simply, the goal of terrorism is to create terror and fear. Fear undermines faith in the establishment. It weakens the enemy from within... causing unrest in the masses. Write this down. Terrorism is not an expresion of rage. Terrorism is a political weapon. Remove a governments facade of infalibility, and you remove it's peoples faith"
10 December, 2005 22:08
As Mr. G. said on The Language Blog, We now have an online .mp3 player. Alot of Lost Concept's band songs will be up there soon, so you can all listen to some good music. David plays lead guitar, I play drums, Evan plays the bass, and Alex sings and plays the guitar. One song is there already, It's called "Snap like twigs". I'll make note of any new songs uploaded when they get there, but for now, there's only that one, and a few samples from Mr. G.
07 December, 2005 17:31
What if? What if an opportunity presented itself? What if you weren't such a hero anymore? What if, all of a sudden, you had something to lose? What would you do? Would you risk it all? Would you put 5 up against 11? Would you take that chance? Or would you walk away? Would you walk away, thinking... What if?
05 December, 2005 11:23
The substance Antimatter is the newest thing in physics these days. Recently, it has been created for the first time on earth in the worlds largest scientific research facility. That facility being
Antimatter is an astounding substance - it is the exact same as matter, but is composed of particles who's charges are opposite of regular matter. It is the most powerful substance on the planet. It releases energy without any loss - 100% efficiency. Amazing, when half of a car's power is lost from the drivetrain to the wheels (50% efficiency). A quarter of a gram has the power of a bomb with the blast radius of half a mile.
The problem is this - Antimatter is the most unstable substance aswell as the most powerful. If it comes in contact with anything - even air, it will explode. Releasing all of it's energy in one blast.
The biggest downside of it though, is that if it were to get into the wrong hands, it could be used as a weapon of mass destruction. Could these scientists at C.E.R.N be working towards a new kind of terrorism? Or saving the 6 billion people on the earth who are destroying our own planet?
03 December, 2005 14:46
Religion - Pg. 110,
"Religion is like languag or dress. We gravitate towards the practices with which we were raised. In the end, though, we are all proclaming the same thing. That life has meaning. That we are gatefull for the power that created us."
Illuminati and money - Pg. 111, Langdon
"If you don't mind me asking, Robert, how did you get involved with the Illuminati?"
Langdon thought back. "Acctually, it was money."
Langdon lauged, realizing how it must have sounded. "No. Money as in currency." He reached in his pants pocket and found a one-dollar bill. "I became facinated with the cult when i first learned that
Langdon handed her the bill. "Look at the back. See the great seal on the left?"
"The pyramid. Do you know what pyramids have to do with U.S history?"
"Exactly," Langdon said. "Absoloutly nothing"
"An eerie bit of history," Langdon said. "The pyramid is an occult symbol representing a convergence upward, toward the ultimate source of Illumination. See what's above it?"
"It's called the trinacria. Have you ever seen that eye inside the triangle anywhere else? It's emblazoned on Masonic [Another cult the Illuminati was involved with] lodges around the world."
"The symbol is masonic?"
"Acctually, no, it's Illuminati.They called it their 'shining delta'. A call for enlightened change [The Illuminati was a cult of scientists that commited crimes against religion, their goal was to "Illuminate" the world. Teach science in the masses (this was in the 16-1800's, when religion squandered all things science)] The eye signifies the Illuminatis ability to infiltrate and watch all things. The shining triangle represents enlightenment. And the triangle is also the greek letter delta, which is the mathematical symbol for-"
"Change, transition."
Langdon smiled, "I forgot I was talking to a scientist."
"So your saying the U.S great seal is a call for an all-seeing, enlightened change?"
"Some would call it a new world order."
"The writing under the pyramid says Novus... ordo.."
"Novus Ordo Seclorum" Langdon said, "It means new secular order"
"Secular as in non-religios?"
"Nonreligios. The phrase not only clearly states the Illuminati objective, but also blatantly contradicts the phrase beside it. In God We Trust."
01 December, 2005 10:30
Religion - Pg. 110,
"Religion is like languag or dress. We gravitate towards the practices with which we were raised. In the end, though, we are all proclaming the same thing. That life has meaning. That we are gatefull for the power that created us."
Illuminati and money - Pg. 111, Langdon
"If you don't mind me asking, Robert, how did you get involved with the Illuminati?"
Langdon thought back. "Acctually, it was money."
Langdon lauged, realizing how it must have sounded. "No. Money as in currency." He reached in his pants pocket and found a one-dollar bill. "I became facinated with the cult when i first learned that
Langdon handed her the bill. "Look at the back. See the great seal on the left?"
"The pyramid. Do you know what pyramids have to do with U.S history?"
"Exactly," Langdon said. "Absoloutly nothing"
"An eerie bit of history," Langdon said. "The pyramid is an occult symbol representing a convergence upward, toward the ultimate source of Illumination. See what's above it?"
"It's called the trinacria. Have you ever seen that eye inside the triangle anywhere else? It's emblazoned on Masonic [Another cult the Illuminati was involved with] lodges around the world."
"The symbol is masonic?"
"Acctually, no, it's Illuminati.They called it their 'shining delta'. A call for enlightened change [The Illuminati was a cult of scientists that commited crimes against religion, their goal was to "Illuminate" the world. Teach science in the masses (this was in the 16-1800's, when religion squandered all things science)] The eye signifies the Illuminatis ability to infiltrate and watch all things. The shining triangle represents enlightenment. And the triangle is also the greek letter delta, which is the mathematical symbol for-"
"Change, transition."
Langdon smiled, "I forgot I was talking to a scientist."
"So your saying the U.S great seal is a call for an all-seeing, enlightened change?"
"Some would call it a new world order."
"The writing under the pyramid says Novus... ordo.."
"Novus Ordo Seclorum" Langdon said, "It means new secular order"
"Secular as in non-religios?"
"Nonreligios. The phrase not only clearly states the Illuminati objective, but also blatantly contradicts the phrase beside it. In God We Trust."
01 December, 2005 10:30
Raise your sword high.
Let out, let in.
Let fly.
To all the days you ever doubted yourself,
All the ones who said no, you can't.
But you could.
All the people who decided they were better than you.
Avenge.
Avenge the wrongs,
Every single one.
Set your mind to setting it free.
Set your mind, to letting it be.
Outside of your cage, the world comes at you fast,
So be sure to watch closely,
You might not last.
Focus
For you might just miss the best part.
Focus
So as not to loose your spot on the chart.
And always remember.
To let fly.
Raise your sword,
Forever high.
30 November, 2005 17:04
I’m reading angels and demons, and I found a few things interesting. Anyone who has read it will know what I’m talking about, but it won’t spoil the plot for people who haven’t read the book.
A scientist in the book, who’s name is Dr Leonardo Vetra, is studying something he calls “unity theory” his goal is to prove that science and religion are simply two different ways to the same answer. His unity theory is his theory that all things are united. It’s obviously fiction, but the book states that he had found a way to prove that the molecules in one body are connected with the particles in another body… He also proved that creation happened the same way science, and religion says. He proved the theory of “the big bang” (that the entire universe emerged from a single point). Religion had argued against it, because of one flaw: the singularity. The singularity was the single point from which all things came. Dr. Vetra re-created this big bang. He “smashed two particles into one another, getting one particle of pure energy. There were then many particles that were appearing out of nowhere while the singularity expanded. He therefore proved that everything could have come from a single point of energy: god. Imagine the scientific revolution that would happen if this were to become true.
The battle between religion and science has always been a big one, it’s the reason half of
30 November, 2005 17:02
The one that fell.
Spread its wings,
Flew.
Never even knew of the ability,
The right. To fly.
Until he needed to.
Alone in the air – he was at home.
It was what this mystic creature was made, born for.
The first time he hit the ground.
The second time, there was no going back -
The air was now his only destination.
He lived – not only in… but for that vast expanse,
That gleaming open beauty.
Where there are no,
Limits.
As he joined the pack I looked on.
I saw him take over, I saw him leading.
I saw,
A miracle.
Skype
For all of you out there without it, I just thought I should inform you; Skype, is cool. Please get it, free at www.skype.com, and no, it's not a virus. It let's you talk to your friends as if you were on the phone, have "conferences" with as many people as you like You can have text conversations too. (The emoticons are goodness). You can also have msn running at the same time, so no problems with talking to other people at the same time as an msn conversation. So please get it so that I can add more people.....
House
Last night's "House" (it's a TV show about a controversial doctor) was pretty good, I have to say. It also revealed a bit about human nature to me. Doctor house is treating a professional biker, tour de
- House is on global every Tuesday at 9:00
Other random news...
Jeep recently introduced a concept truck that can turn it's wheel's in a way that lets it move sideways like a crab, or spin in spot.
“Powder med” Has released a needle-less vaccine. It shoots microscopic DNA vaccine particles trough your skin cells using pressured helium. The shot is painless because the particles hit just above nerve endings. It takes only one 1000th of a dose from regular needles, making vaccines more readily available, and cheaper. Influenza and Hepatitis shots are being developed already.
Colored bubbles!! To be released in stores as character themed “Zubbles”. Just another one of those “why didn’t I think of that” things. You would be surprised though, it took him over 12 years and $500 000 to develop them. The color goes away instantly when the bubble pops, making for a lot of happy mothers.
The new Xbox 360, set to come out November 21st, is one amazing machine. It houses one teraflop of processing power (10 gigahertz), that’s about as much as three of our laptops, or one of our calculators… It produces 1080 lines of high definition, so you can see the blue guys all the way from the other base…
Toshiba perpendicular magnetic recording. Yes that’s right, big words… What it means is that Toshiba has created a new hard drive set to give us more space for the years to come. They’ve found a way to change how our hard drives store info. It’s complicated, and I’d rather not write an essay on it, so I’ll just tell you this. The first sentence in the article is: “Imagine having a 10-gigabyte hard drive on your laptop, or a terabyte of memory on your laptop”…
- Random news all from this week’s popular science.
MSN has given a few people the chance for what I can see as an act of desperation. These people were offered a quick opportunity to get out of the constant "beam" of pressures raining down from above, by jumping into a relationship, in most cases with someone they don't truly know. MSN has increased the amount of people they can escape this beam with.
Just being able to display the fact that they are in that relationship can boost their self esteem, it can make other people think higher of the person in the relationship, jealous even. But what happens is this, after these people are all of a sudden out of this "beam", they start to realize what they did. They maybe start to realize just how desperate they were to escape, and to what extent they went to, just to do so.
These people were so changed by the pressure, that they didn't realize what they were doing. This happens to such an extent, that, when given time to make the decision in peace, a lot of them choose to undo their actions.
To put it simply, I think that msn has given people the opportunity to have something they are pressured quite a bit to have. What is being offered to them, in this little metaphor of mine, is fake. But they only see it as security. They are blinded by the constant pressures of society, and they decide to take the quick way out. In the end it amounts to absolutely nothing, I guess just another life lesson learned. Think about this next time you're about to take the quick way out, it's not always, and is most often, the wrong way.
A few recent events have come to pass. A few recent events I'd rather not have happened to my friends. All of these events could have been prevented had the truth been told. Here is a quote I'd like everyone to hear;
"Sometimes the truth is just a whisper. Sometimes, a single word. Sometimes the truth can be the only remaining weapon, or the only remaining line of defense. But it is always there. But no matter how you use it. It can end. Everything." -Unanimous
Hey guys,
Sorry to drag the subject out, but Jake's response to my other MSN post reminded me of something I forgot to mention. He says that you know that no one's eavesdropping on your conversations when you’re on msn. But, not to contradict what he said, it is somewhat true, people can eavesdrop very easily on msn, the first way is if someone's at their house, simply looking over their shoulder, or through msn conversation history. Someone could very easily print off pages of you conversation history, and give them out at school, everyone can somehow get a hold of the information, so watch what you say, you never know who's listening.For those of you sitting there saying to yourself, "wow, is he really gonna try to answer what the meaning of life is"... I am. So, starting from the beginning, how did we get here? To me, it seems that all the right atoms just fell into a good spot, and then
Well then, on to the meaning. I'll give you a hint; it starts with an f, and ends with a fun. Mhhhm. I believe the entire reason we're here on earth, is to have fun. Just think about it. When it all boils down, after you've failed miserably throughout life , or succeeded past anyone dreams. No matter how many favor's you've done, no matter how many A's you got. If you can't say that you've had fun, then what are you left with? No good memories. No times to look back on and smile about, even when you're looking into the teeth of your demise. No funny things to laugh about in the middle of a language class. So if you're sitting there thinking about things you would have rather not done, rather not have happened, rather not seen, or heard, just try to think about the positive. All of the things you can be happy about, and try to smile. You might just find out how good it feels