Jones' Jarbs
... Things to say
Home sweet home
Sunday, May 28, 2006
87. J.A.R.B - Reinventing
Every once in a while; we have to step back and assess ourselves. We have to wonder again; who we really are. We always have the memories, but we need to think of what to make of them. Sometimes it’s nice to take it from the start; spend some time to study yourself; wonder what happened to those old habits; maybe even celebrate about all the little things you do, the small things that no one ever really knows.
We have to find ourselves again; and we have to find the dream we’ve attached ourselves to.
After being de-railed; it’s important to find where we are; and then we to think back, and wonder where we were going. We need to remember where we were headed; what were we aiming for when we set off to do what we set off to do. What did you want to accomplish; before silly things like desire got in the way? What did we want when we were just wee little ones; when we didn’t know what our limits were? What happened to all of the un-doable dreams? Where did our imagination go?
Every time something changes; we need to change with it. Every time we change; we have to remember to stay the same. Every time we decide to branch off into something new; we have to remember where our roots lay. When we dive; we have to remember which way is up. And when life sets you off on its silly de-tours; we have to remember where we were headed.
Time to look back; is this what you wanted?
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 9:16 AM | View comments | |-
Saturday, May 27, 2006
86. J.A.R.B - Changes
I’ve come to learn; to see, that every big movement, every change in direction our culture takes is caused by some sort of rebellion. Some sort of dream; that is made into and idea. An idea that is shared with people across the world, an idea that is shared; not by the government or any ruling power in particular; an idea that everyone feels is worth achieving.
Take; for example, the free love movement. The world was fairly structured and keen on discipline before the hippies came along. The “hippies”, along with their idea of total freedom, changed the world as we know it. By simply causing their generation to believe in something; they changed ideals; and by changing ideals, they changed the way the world goes round. It was in the power of “believing” where they invested their idea; and they, unknowingly, did wonders. People were not driven by money; not by things. They did not want any rewards; other than a different lifestyle. And without thinking; they took that lifestyle up without thinking of their society at the time.
The point is this; when people come together with a singular idea in mind, and follow that idea; a change is made; only when there is something to believe in, rather than just want, things happen. Only when you dream, can you succeed.
Another good thing to mention is that we all have to band together to stop; or start something. Power in numbers, the more voices; the louder they get. When you find yourself saying “one little thing won’t really matter”, you’d be amazed at how wrong you are. Because one person can spread knowledge, one person can tell more people. One person can “spread the faith”, and make a change.
We all have the power to stop the madness that’s happening right now in this world. The genocide in Rwanda; the war in Iraq, Human trafficking, these horrific things; the way our society chooses to look away, can be changed. We’ve got to make a change. It’s time for us as a people to start making some changes. Let’s change the way we think, let’s change the way we treat each other.
You can.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 6:25 PM | View comments | |-
Monday, May 22, 2006
85. J.A.R.B - What you make
We spend so much time in this world trying to understand our place inside of it. I’ve come to the conclusion that; no matter where you are, it’s where you think you are that counts. No matter where you are, it’s what you make of it that matters. If you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere; if you’re going nowhere fast, you can at least enjoy the ride. If you’re at the end of your trip, you can pretend you’re still young and carefree; and you won’t have to worry. When you find yourself in a hole, no matter how you got there, you can at least pretend you’re on top again; and enjoy yourself. Maybe that way, a smile and a good long laugh will bring you up to where you’re mind is. Down on earth; we can pretend we’re astronauts. Up there; we can dream of home. Don’t think twice; it’s alright.
We spend so much time in this world trying to comprehend reality; when really we’re always dreaming. Because when we dream we wish, when we wish we want. When we want we think; and when those thoughts turn into actions; we have progression. Another dream comes in; and we wish, want, think; act. Like the landscape passing outside your train window, we can’t track our every single moment; but we know where we’re headed. It’s the dream that counts, big or small; somehow, we’ll be there soon.
We’ll have the memories to see where we’ve been. The thoughts we can remember thinking; how silly we used to be. So as these days wind down, remember where you’ve been, remember what you’ve made of the last few years. Don’t just remember the moments; remember the dreams that got you there; big or small. Remember the wishes you had, the things you wanted; needed. Remember the thoughts; plans, as they were put into action. Remember how you acted, remember who you were. Remember how you changed, and then you’ll truly know yourself. Never forget; these were the times that made you who you are. These are the dreams you’ll be chasing for quite some time to come. These are the places you’ve been. The things you’ve seen. These are the days you spent in happiness. The dreams you realized. Remember success; remember failure. Remember the rain that made the sunny days seem that much brighter.
But please; don’t cry.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 1:59 PM | View comments | |-
Sunday, May 21, 2006
84. J.A.R.B - Wake up call
And then it hit me. I knew who I had become, typical of me not to make a simple speed check. Thanks for the wake up call. Now I know why. Too much control, too much comfort. Who knew there were spikes underneath all these pillows. Too many nice things; and I thought this would never last. I could get away with it all. Why? Because I had become the person I loathed. I had become exactly what I didn’t want to be; and egomaniac. Let’s take this apart; biopsy on my dying personality. Let’s find it before it gets big. But all I wanted now is the friendships I know now I’ve destroyed, the people I know now I’ve stepped on. All I wanted was some fun. Careful, I’ll watch where I step now; vulnerable. Watch out; they’re aiming at me this time around. Flash; where did the lights go? Hard to see. Where now? What now? Time left, time gone; make it last, make it change. Fix this, getting steeper. What’s wrong; need to know before I hit the ground.
Why am I even writing this? Why would I want to let everyone know I’m a jackass? I don’t even know that. But maybe it’s just because that’s all I have to write about now. Maybe it’s because this document is all I can turn to lately. Everyone’s got their problems; maybe this is just my way of dealing with them? Or maybe it’s because I’d like to let the people around me know that I’ll try my best to change. A few more laughs before we leave here. Maybe it’s because I’d like to let the people who I’ve wronged know now that I’m aware of what I’m becoming. And I want you to know that it’s not something I want to be. This isn’t what I was aiming for. I used to be the victim, now I have become the criminal. I don’t know how, but something went wrong. And I’m going to try my best to fix it. I apologize now for being who I am. I do not want to be this way, and I’ll repeat; I’ll try my best to fix it.
I'm sorry.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 10:52 AM | View comments | |-
Thursday, May 18, 2006
83. J.A.R.B - To myself.
I’ll keep this to myself, no need for you to know. No need for anymore awkward situations; let the good times roll. If only, if only I could say what I’m thinking of every other second, if only there were another chance; better timing. Someday, some moment, could maybe be ours. There was always warmth between us. But please; don’t cry.
And really, all I wanted to know was “what if” what if these days had aligned themselves just right; what if there were more of them? We wouldn’t have to undo these knots we spent so much time tying. What if I didn’t have to watch it unravel before my eyes, and sit by; no longer a part of the commotion? What if things had been different from the start? Let’s go back to the start; but let’s not go from there.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 5:37 PM | View comments | |-
82. J.A.R.B - Sense
A devil in the midnight mass. Hard to make sense of this, because the worst bit was not knowing; where did I go wrong? Back to the start; analyze. Now there’s nothing to regret; this is one risk I’m thankful for. The one risk that’s gonna keep me taking risks. At least now I know. At least now some sense can come out of this. I hate it when things are up in the air.
Looking over what I’ve lost. This was glorious; “was”. This was beautiful. Looking over the hope’s I’ve lost. The wishes that won’t ever come true; one last chance. Looking over the friendship that may never be the same; only time can tell. Looking over the time I’ve spent, the memories I’ve won.
So I lay my head back down.
Remember those days? I do. Let’s not forget.
- Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 5:34 PM | View comments | |-
81. J.A.R.B - Loss
There’s a lot of loss in my world right now. Endings; they had to come sometime, didn’t they? Can’t we make this go on forever; this beautiful limbo? The only difference for this one is the fact that I’m not going to tell myself that I’ll be strong. I promise not to fool myself into believing that I won’t have to cry; the tears will only come harder later. I won’t seclude and feel sorry for myself. But I won’t pretend it’s all going to be okay. I’m going to shed a few tears for this one; better to accept that. Accept; not the fact that we’re leaving, not the fact that this is ending; for I can make this last a little while longer, if only in my head. But accept the fact that it’s a bad thing, and realize that I’ll end up without a smile; for a little while.
All I really want right now is for something to come together just right. We can forget about all of the lonely pieces scattered on the ground. Let’s build something; something so strong no matter how fierce the storm, nothing will take it down. We can forget about all of this and rejoice in the fact that we can still re-do this, try once more; last chance; if only for a second.
We can try our best to hold on; but something’s gotta give. We can last long enough as to hold each other as we fall. A lot of loss right now, all I wanted was something to hold on to.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 5:27 PM | View comments | |-
Saturday, May 13, 2006
80. J.A.R.B - Mad beats
Mad beats. All I know, all I feel. Dance like no one’s watching; even though you know they are. Show your colors. Music pumping, louder. I really like your def jux baby. Original, classy, real; old school; nothing you’ve ever heard. Since we last spoke. Let it out, dance the night away. Wait for that bridge; anticipate, not what you expected. Pump it. “Louder”? Oh no, we’re already going full blast. Let ‘em judge later, move those legs, let’s see you break a sweat; don’t worry about the smell. Hold on to the beat, let it flow, let it sink in; let them move you. Anticipate, just what you wanted. Fade out? That’s a negative; we can keep moving. You can dance, you can sit. You can move; you can rest. You can wait for the right time; or be there the whole way through. Two more dead. Ghostwriter; they can’t tell who’s yelling in the background. But they can hear. Move; don’t plan. “Where’s my snare?”
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 5:31 AM | View comments | |-
79. J.A.R.B - Work it out.
In revision, review; I’ve found my faults. I’ve said things I’d rather not said; I’ve watched risks flash by. If I had only leapt. I could’ve made it; I think I can. Regrets; we all have them. Pain, maybe there was love, loss, something worth writing about. But all you can do is look back and tell yourself you’ll take the good, leave the bad; but let’s not forget. We can’t wipe the slate clean, and yet; therein, we can learn from our mistakes, see them looming overhead like a cloud holding on to the air you breathe. See them, and wait for sunnier days. They’ll come. Another day; we’ll get this right, if only for one more moment; another chance. If only I knew. Then maybe I’d be able to see these mistakes. Like rain without hint of cloud. Too good to be true? Hold on. We can still have hope. Talk. We can still have conversation.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 5:30 AM | View comments | |-
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
78. J.A.R.B - Where now?
So; where to now? I could just practice what I preach, or maybe… try something new? Someplace else… Maybe it’s time to focus. Time to watch this clock run dry? Oh no, time to take every moment; everyday, and exploit it. Bend these laws you call moral. Take time to take it back; I’ve given you my two cents. Ready for 5? Maybe even 78. Twist the manner in which time destroys all; exploit the little sand left in this timer. Watch every piece as it falls, and hold it there for just that moment longer; another chance at this; whatever “this” may be to you. It may just be a shot in the dark; alas, no time to wait for daybreak. The light’s a long way away. It’s going to get worse before it gets better; we’re going to loose it before we come back to a new home, we’re leaving; it’s all too confusing. Time to take a step up, take a step back; and bow. Watch as they throw these flowers; try to decipher those last few words you hear yelled aloud in unison from the mass of people in front of you. We all know you; maybe it’s time for you to get to know us; before it’s too late. Tell me that more friends would just be another thing to loose, but deep down we all know the truth; it’s just another thing to hold on to. And when you dance, dance. Only a few songs left. Who to spend them with? Maybe it’s time to spend a few with yourself. Find your own you before you loose it all over again.
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 7:18 PM | View comments | |-
Sunday, May 07, 2006
77. J.A.R.B - Goodnight moon
Goodnight home. Goodnight drive; you should know you were the only reason I tried. Goodnight to those hopes that never came true. I can let you rest now. Goodnight sad goodbyes, we’ll see you when the day comes.
I never did get that perfect dance; goodnight hopes, desire. Goodnight wish. I never finished that love song. Goodnight neverending moments. Goodnight neverending goodbyes. Goodbye last chance.
Maybe this is for the best. Maybe things will work out well in the end. Thanks for the memories.
Goodnight moon; I’ve a few tears to cry.
- "So, now you're not here. But your ghost; still burns in the air."
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 6:26 PM | View comments | |-
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
76. J.A.R.B - For you
... For you.
It’s all for you. It’s all just to see that smile. It all comes from wonders; gently turning into thoughts. I’ve never been much for statements. Please, read between the lines. And as I quiver while I type, I whisper; and I get nervous that this time you might just hear me. It’s all for you. It’s all for that laugh that lights me up. It’s all for something that I can’t seem to put into words right now. It’s all for that one moment; where fears fade, the lights seem to burn out, and nothing else matters. It’s all for these days spent wishing they would never leave. So please, hold on. Strong enough.
- “As the moon fades, one more night gone, only twenty more days. But I will see you again; a long time from now.”
-Jones.
- Jones posted this bad boy on 3:21 PM | View comments | |-